In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
