Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
