don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
honey bunches of taint.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
