You made me cry and you don't even care
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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