You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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