Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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