What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
