I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
