He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize