Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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