Im at strip club and am horny
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
