Just took my morning after pill in the library
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
