kristin has been a bad kristin
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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