last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
