Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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