he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
