Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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