:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
