Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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