sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
