I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
