Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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