Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
