no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
People in love make me want to vomit
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize