Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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