I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
