we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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