wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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