I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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