I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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