She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
