It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
