Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
