dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
