I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize