you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
