She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
All the doctor said was why
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
