Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
