Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
