just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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