So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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