I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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