New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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