So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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