I think i peed on brittanys purse
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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