I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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