I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
