i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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