I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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