Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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