Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
