then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
