SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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