my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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