You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
