We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
