the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
