Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
