So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
