so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
