I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
