she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
vagina is talking i cant
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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