All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
