btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
