There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
